On the mend

Am I? I truthfully don't know... still drinking too much but now I have this facade of pretending to people that I don't care about anything and nothing bothers me.... but it does, being lonely bothers me - can someone die from loneliness?

Spent the day at Redcar yesterday with my family, I initiated it all, asked them to have a day out and it was a good day, I wasn't as lonely for the smallest smidgeon of time. Went down the town on the night with Ste, John Kelly and Chill, was a decent night and I got a major compliment about the way I look from someone I used to work with. A couple of girls paid me a bit of attention in the night club but no action... none for 2 weeks now...

Saw Vicky out on Friday but didn't speak much to her, it felt like she didn't want to. Saw her bpyfriend in her car the other day... the car hasn't been there much though.

Amanda done the schizo thing again on Friday, enough for me to lose my rag and give her a verbal reaming... worst is, if she hadn't gone like this, I might have saw more of her...

'One more day that i've survived
Another night alone
Pay no mind i'm doing fine
I'm breathing on my own

I'm here, and I'm on the mend
I'm here, and I'm on the mend my friend

Wake me when the hour arrives
Wake me with my name
See you somewhere down the line
We're teathered once again

I'm here, and I'm on the mend
I'm here, and I'm on the mend my friend
I'm here, and I'm on the mend
I'm here, and I'm on the mend my friend

Was it you, who said hello?
Here we go

Close your eyes and stay a while
And take me when you go
Single file we walk the mile
Who's wandering back home?

I'm here, and I'm on the mend
I'm here, and I'm on the mend my friend
I'm here, and I'm on the mend
I'm here, and I'm on the mend my friend

Was it you, who said hello?
Here we go
Here we go
Here we go
Here we go'