The record shows I took the blows, I took the blows, and did it my way...

I'm tired of trying to live up to what is expected of me. I am an alcoholic - DEAL WITH IT!

Another thing to piss me off tonight was that the money we (HMMMMM, _I_!) raised for the hospice has been lost track of so they can't issue a cheque for the presentation tomorrow... despite them knowing for about a month this was happening. The Secretary stood there and chuntered on - and was close to getting a smack. The treasurer, who is supposed to be a friend said 'fuck them, they will have to wait' - all the while the club is getting the interest on the money raised. It was apparently paid into the club bank account and as the treasurer said 'we haven't had the books back' - bullshit!!

Had contact from a drummer and a guitarist who have heard my stuff and want to sing with them... but communications seem to have broke down due to my inability to function normally without alcohol (again) and the solo idea I had has hit the rocks because it looks like my car may be _really_ off the road next week, tax and MOT are due and I just can't afford it.

I know that certain people who read this will think 'so stop drinking' but it isn't as easy as that, I wish they could experience the badness that is withdrawals... actually I DO wish they could because I have such disdain for them.

We are all architects of our own design, and we have to live with the construction we build.