Life on Standby

"I don't think people are meant to be by themselves, that's why, if you actually find someone you care about... it's important to let go of the little things - even if you can't let go all the way. Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone... no matter how many people are around you"

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Write your soul down word for word, see who's your friend, and who is kind

Away again for soooooo long, meh!

The charity gig went really well, we raised £700 for the Hartlepool Hospice, which is a place Cancer patients go in their final days. only 5 members of my 9 million strong family turned out and quite a lot of 'friends' who said they were coming never bothered. Who gives a shit, we enjoyed it, went down really well and made money for a deserving charity so HOO RAH! The only semi negative comments we got were that we need to play more 'commercial' stuff - which I have been saying from Accidental Angels inception!

Mandy has been round a couple of times and I could tell that she wants a lot more from me than I am willing, or even able, to give. There was no real spark from her, she was just like any random I can, and have brought home lately, and I think she deserves better than that - so i've told her that it's not going to happen...

Had a text message from a 'friend' of mine tonight letting me know that Vicky has been asking about me and how I am doing - thats a road I don't want to, indeed, CAN'T go down again - she is happy in a relationship (as far as I know).

Christmas shopping completed, wrapped and stored away.

Front room decorating coming on. Nearly fully stripped and half filled. Should be ready for Christmas, hopefully - even if a basic paint job.

One thing i've learnt is that an alcoholic can never be a 'social' drinker. I have had a couple tonight and at the moment, know that if I had some in my house, I would have more. Tomorrow I will again have to fight the urge to go and buy some alcohol, be it vodka or whatever is at hand in my local. I am going to have one last night tomorrow and then abstinate totally. Monday is my D-Day, drop the drink, for good, start training again and eat well again. fingers crossed :-S

1 Comments:

At 3:48 pm , Blogger Canopenner said...

Im prayin for ya brother!

 

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