Life on Standby

"I don't think people are meant to be by themselves, that's why, if you actually find someone you care about... it's important to let go of the little things - even if you can't let go all the way. Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone... no matter how many people are around you"

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Medicate me again, so I fall away...

Since I developed my alcohol problem I have let so many people down, either through things I have promised to do and not or through things I have not done as they should be done.

I have lost friends, business colleague's and the respect of a lot of people... and 99% of the time, I put the blame on them

A good friend of mine told me last night that he had been speaking to Linda who works at a place I used to do computer work for and she said that I was a very good lad until I hit the drink, then I became a waste of space...

All of my life I have tried to be a decent bloke - one of those people whom everybody likes... and yet I have always been the exact opposite. I am apparently not a likeable person in the way that people always call me behind my back - thats the kind of person I must be... I know I am called because other people take great joy in telling me.

I only have a small amount of vodka in my house and when that is gone, I am going to do my damndest to go, not so much cold turkey, but luke warm turkey... I am still gonna try and make a Sunday and Thursday night out but the rest of the time... here comes the scary word... SOBER!

I have turned into someone I do not like (not that I have ever really liked myself)

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