Just don't let me fall asleep, feeling empty again

Spent a couple of days really depressed. I had a text from my niece, Jodie asking if I wanted to take her dog in because she thought it wasn't fair for her to be near our Jordan, who is 4 year old, and only having a small yard to use - basically, she was panicking about buying her food etc. I said yes because I was thinking about getting a dog. First night, Sheba was fine and loved it here in my garden - the next morning was a different matter. I could tell she wasn't her normal self, she wasn't eating and wouldn't go out. I knew she was pining for our J and at her age (she's 12), it would not do her health the slightest bit of good so, as much as it tore me apart, I took her back down to our Jodie's house and after 10 minutes of being back there, she livened up which was proof to me that I made the right decision for her. I told my niece that if she ever needed food or treats to give me a call and I will buy them and drop them off but under no circumstances can she ever give Sheba away because if she does, she will just pine herself away.

Started a new training regime today. This evening's workout consisted of a chest workout of Incline Bench Press of 100kg, Pec Dec at about 50kg (hard to judge weight when using a multigym) and Flat Bench Press of 110kg then a short tricep workout of pushdowns and kickbacks. I actually feel quite good for it! Tomorrow is going to be Cross Trainer day for aerobic stuff, something I started to do at my old gym before shit happened...

Spent a bit of time in the garden digging up the roots from the bush I cut down. Took it's toll on me but at least things are moving along. Had to set fire to part of them to weaken them and it looked prettyful!

Went for a medical on Saturday. The Doctor seemed more concerned about my stay in the Mental Care Unit than my hands or back. One question he asked was if I though I still had mental health issues... I paused... and he ticked yes! Guess I am a certifiable loop then!! The question about my alcohol intake came up and I answered truthfully - just wish I could do that to AA or my GP... tomorrow is the day I try the first step of cutting back again - /me 'fraid :-(

Bought myself a new Mic and effects unit for the band. Been getting positive feedback about my voice and am actually starting to believe I can do this!

Found a pure 100% class quality site at TV Links - it has movies, mucis vid's, tv shows... I love it so much I want to have babies with it! I've watched practically every episode of Scrubs on this (even though I have them on DVD!)