We fight currents in the water when we can't let go of the shore

I've got a meeting early doors with my Housing Officer, presumably in regards to my (hopefully) impending house swap. The elderly couple with whom I am arranging the swap came down to take a few measurements today and, with it being the first time Tommy had seen my pad, everything had to be sparkling and prettyful. The good thing is that he was very impressed with everything which is a plus point. The only thing is that now it is becoming a reality, I wonder if I am making a mistake... I was with my Father when he died in this place, I found my Mother when she died in here, I lived with, loved and lost Stacey in this place (well, at least thats 1 good thing then!) - ah well, we shall see what tomorrow reaps. After the meeting, I am going to take some photos of the Garden so I can start planning the design of my barbeque...

Struggling more and more with my hands. I can no longer touch type as I have so little feeling in the lumps of meat attached to the end of my arms that I have to watch the keyboard and keep glancing at the monitor. I daren't go to my GP for a couple of reasons. Firstly, after the botch job the last butcher did to my left hand, i'm scared that they will say my right needs an operation. Secondly, since my nervous breakdown, I have not visited my GP for fear of judgement. My old doctor was a real classy bloke, very friendly and I was scared of what he would have to say about my ermm... mistake... The kicker? He's no longer my GP but I now have several different complaints that I would need to bring up, my hands being the most severe and I have got it into my head that they will think I am swinging the lead.

Went to see my brother down his new club today. We had a good chat and he seeems to be in a lot better spirits which is good because he is (not my description) an 'overweight Diabetic with weeping kidney and a history of alcohol abuse'. Not alcohol abuse in the traditional(?) sense but in the sense that due to his size and metabolism, it takes an inordinate amount of alcohol to affect him, hence the now weeping kidney! Being out of work depressed him a lot more than he let on and that was something he could do without. Hopefully the club will go well for him.

Just had the greatest ever supper, a bowl of Crunch Nut Cornflakes with Strawberries on... and just for Murray... a nice picture of the food of the gods :-p


Had an email from John, the Bass Player in my new band. They had a couple of guitarists and keyboard players to audition but they want to be started in the next couple of weeks. The included 3 tracks for me to start practicing the vocals on...

Whitesnake - Fool For Your Loving (not a problem, done this one before)
Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me (Actually i'd never heard the origional, just crappy pop covers)
Gary Moore - Don't Take Me For A Loser (OUCH! Prolonged high vocals... bonus!)

Looking forward to giving it a go, just hope I don't disappoint

I realize how many times you tried, but that's wishful thinking

Well, no sooner do I post than another attrocity from Youtube gets sent to my website... I am, being a bloke who has worked the doors and plays Ice Hockey, not impartial to a bit of violence... when justified, but this, as the UK is becoming, is just a pisstake!!



I am sooo proud to come from this country of thughs and thieves :-S

And every step I take, I stay in the same place

Been out for a few drinks tonight with a few friends of mine. Had an ok night other than the contionious shitty headache I have... well, that and the pain in my hands!

A couple of barmaids in my local said they were shocked that I wasn't going clubbing with them tonight. I just didn't want to. I wanted to come home, crack open a good bottle of white (happened to be a Lindemans South Australian, quite sweet, Semillon Chardonay (who could expect an alcoholic of having no taste!)

Had an email from the guys who want me to sing in their band asking if I am still interested as they nearly have all the musicians they need.. FUCK YEAH!! Will reply tomorrow when I am at least half sober.

Healthy eating is still going quite well. Tomorrow is Fruit Salad and Kellogs Crunch Nut Cornflakes day again - they are the nectar of the gods when it comes to breakfast cereal!

Hockey training is still going ok... well, as ok as two seriously arthritic hands and one damaged back can allow. Good thing is that my coach and linemates know what to expect from me. I love my team, I love the game... I know it's coming soon and it will kill me when I have to stop playing!

This made me wee a little... so I got changed!



People think that I am doing these because it is so close to my accent and my humour!!

I don't know what's real and what's not real

My heating went off again yesterday.

I have no hot water and no heating. I had to stay in last night waiting for an engineer that never turned up.

The pain in both of my hands is becoming really bad. The only relief I get is when they are numb. Painkillers are no good for anything other than a short buzz.

My free laptop is a godsend, I would be lost without it now. It may be lower spec than my previous laptops but it does what I want. Think I will look for a dvd or cd writer for it.

Last night I was able to keep a little bit warm by laying in bed with my laptop, watching Stargate Atlantis - it's quickly becoming a favourite of mine. I am looking forward to Lost, Jericho and The Sopranos resuming, American TV scheduling sucks ass.

I have been sleeping way too much lately, sometimes wasting away a whole day.

I think I have a gas leak.

I have had 4 hours sleep yet don't feel tired... which is contradictory to my previous sentence - hey ho!

My brother has finally gotten himself a new club to manage, about time - I was starting to get worried for him.

I keep hearing things.

Hand hurts, thats it for this post...