Scars

As if it wasn't expected, found out she is seeing a doorman who works on Midnights... just goes to prove my theory was right.

Amanda came round last night, anybody would have been here after I got told what I got told...

'I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
and I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channeled all your pain
and I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
Our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you goin' down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
and I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't have ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
and I tried to grab your hand
and I left my heart open
but you didn't understand
but you didn't understand
GO. FIX. YOURSELF.

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life '

Recovery

Been to the gym and pn the sunbed. After I dropped Bob off I was driving home and saw 'whatsername' walking along the road with her friend. She is definately orange, haha... felt a twinge in my stomach but not really that much, she didn't look attractive to me... could be the hate manifesting tho'

'Scared to open up these eyes
See just what's inside
Twisted and cold
This house is not a home
Help me now
I'm dying here all alone

This is not a new game
So don't think that you know

Casually I confide
Awake and paralyzed
Forever in one word
Forever is the longest time
It's the only cure
I'm not sure I'll survive

This is not a new game
So don't think that you know

Can you see these blood shot eyes?
And can you see...

That my strength is failing
And I can't go on this way
And this hearts not beating
It just doesn't seem the same
And my strength is failing
And I can't go on this way
Can't go on this way


Promise me, Promise me
Promise me, You will not ever leave
Promise me, You will not ever leave
Promise me, You will not ever leave
Promise me, You will not ever leave
You will not ever leave

And my strength is failing
And I can't go on this way
And this heart's not beating
It just doesn't seem the same'

Escape artists never die

Strange one again last night, some random bird kept getting me up to dance in the club, she was ok'ish looking but damn strange. Got the feeling that there was a few female eyes on me, maybe just me bolstering myself up a bit...

Nearly sacked my two guitarists tonight, don't know where the anger came from. Had a shit practice...

Told Amanda last night that it wasn't going to work, she done the 'Trina' schizo thing, texting me every couple of minutes if I didn't answer straight away... can't be done with that...

God I need to go out and find another random tomorrow...

'The red poison of your lips
The red poison of your eyes
Is where I kissed the blood from,
Just that corner of your mouth where I can see the white of your smile.
Up to my neck
When I'm breathing without you, without you
Up to my eyes
And I'm seeing without you, without you

We'll start a fire,
And burn some bridges
And make it out of here tonight
We'll start a fire,
And burn some bridges
And make it out of here tonight

We need some leverage
We can't seem to open up
The locks are far too tight
And the chains are far too strong, far too strong.
Up to my eyes
And I'm seeing without you, without you
Up to my heart
When I'm bleeding without you, without you.

We'll start a fire,
And burn some bridges
And make it out of here tonight
We'll start a fire,
And burn some bridges
And make it out of here tonight

Please someone help me
I'm dying here in front of you
Please someone help me
I'm dying here in front of you.
With a hundred thousands lights
Timing as everything will
With a hundred thousand lights
Timing, timing is everything to me
Please someone help me
I'm dying here in front of you
Please someone help me
I'm dying here in front of you.
It's everything
It's everything
Timing is everything. It's everything.'

My Sundown

Good night out last night. The lads came round before I went out and we played some NHL on the Playstation. Decentish band on and my dark haired fantasy was in, she is soooo cute. Kenny reckons her friend is better, I disagree, theres just something about her (and she was visiting one of my neighbours the other day, think she is family). Some random wanted to take me home at the end of the night, no pretence, no foreplay, she just asked if I had a girlfriend and when I said no replied 'good, you are coming home with me...' - very strange... I like my new body, plenty of women just want to seem to bounce up and down on it :-D

Having a night in tonight with a bottle of vodka and the playstation, the lads are coming round and we are having a tournament... should be a laugh

'I see it around me
I see it in everything
I could be so much more than this

I said my goodbyes
this is my sundown
I'm gonna be so much more than this

With one hand high
you'll show them your progress
you'll take your time
but no one cares

no one cares x2

I need you to show me the way from crazy
I wanna be so much more than this

With one hand high
you'll show them your progress
you'll take your time
but no one cares x2

no one cares x3
(I could be so much more than this)
no one cares
(I wanna be so much more than this)
no one cares
(I could be so much more than this)
no one cares
(I wanna be so much more than this)
no one cares
(I wanna be so much more than this)
no one cares x2
(I wanna be so much more than this)

good goodbye
lovely time
good goodbye
tinsel shine
good goodbye
I'll be fine

good goodbye
good goodnight'

Over and out

Brought Amanda home last night, one of my past 'conquests'. She slept with either her leg over mine or in my arms and at random points, she would kiss my back or neck, was a bit too close to how 'whatsername' always slept. I like Amanda, she's a nice lass... got 2 kids, and a divorcee at 27 but she's ok. May see her again. She has never made it private about how much she likes me...

'Restless little one
Comfortable and warm
Let me fall apart
Crippled in your arms

Chase me through the dark
Ready on your mark
First to reach the stars
Wins a broken heart
One that broke apart
Shattered from the start

Are you there?
Do you read me?
Are you there?
I don't feel you anymore

Cages and alarms
Keeping us from harm
I will be the guard
Hope to rest upon

Could I be the one
To break a will so strong
Pray it won't be long
Til your will is gone
Everything is done
Nothing left at all

Are you there?
Do you read me?
Are you there?
I don't feel you anymore

Are you there?
Will you give in?
Are you there?
If I give out
Over and out

Cages and alarms
Keeping us from harm
I will be the guard
Hope to rest upon
Everything is done
Nothing left at all

Are you there?
Do you read me?
Are you there?
I don't feel you anymore

Are you there?
Will you give in?
Are you there?
If I give out'