Play crack the sky

Boring night Thursday and last night. No action, not even a taste.

Got offered a Job on the door again.

Bought a Nokia 7610, couldn;t afford it

Nobody is out again tonight, going to go up the club then down the town

Been for a couple of games of snooker with our Anth.

Feeling semi drunk now - my drinking is getting worse.

I am getting lonelier by the day, and it's killing me. It hurts me to think of her now, itkills me to know her first child won't be mine, it kills me to know that she could let go so easily, it kills me...

' Send out an S.O.S. call
It's a quarter past four in the morning
The storm broke our second anchor line
Four months at sea, for months of calm seas to be pounded
The shallows off the tip of Montauk Point
In calm rows, they travel fast and alone
One hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong
They call, "Love is a risk to always get hit out of nowhere by some wave and end up on your own"
The hole in the hull defied the crew's attempt to bail us out
Flooded the engines and radio
Half-buried bow
Your tongue is a rudder, steers the whole ship, sends your words past your lips, keeps me safe behind your teeth
But the wrong words will strand you
Come off-course while you sleep
Sweep your boat out to sea
You're dashed to bits on the reef
Vessel groans, the ocean pressures its frame
To the port I see the lighthouse through the sleet and the rain
And I wish for one more day to give my love and repay debts
The morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west
They say that the captains, they stash with the ship, through still and storm
But this ain't the Dakota and the water's cold
Won't have to fight for long
This is the end
This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear
This is the calm
Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathe will heal me underneath
I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea… after the storm
I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean
I know that this is what you want… right here with me
A funeral keeps both of us apart… washed up on the beach
You know that you are not alone'

Dying in your arms

Went to the club to see a hypnotist tonight, was an ok night. Bumped into my brother coming out and as usual, he had to try and put me down, fuck him, it's not me who has the problem, it;s him who is insecure to the point where he has to try and embarrass me...

Still lonely, need to at least _be_ with somebody for a few moments to get rid of this feeling... for a while

Going to the Citizens Advice Beruea romorrow about filing for Bankruptcy.

I hate my life at the moment, I have nothing worthwile going on - and yet I pretend to people that I do!

' I'm wearing thin wearing out becoming weak
Holding hands with this rope she's my self-destructive
Bleeding disease the things that makes it hard to breathe
But if I shoved you far away
This addict just starved again asphyxiated
And now I see it's you that's tearing me ensnaring me
This is my dying in your arms I cut you out now set me free
Lynched high above what used to be
In her gallows built for me
So I escaped cut this noose around my
Neck I break free to see the things you blinded me
And I shoved you far away
Now I live the life I dreamed of
You're dead to me
You poisoned my life
So I take this knife
And I cut you out
Cut you out'

Baby Goodbye

As much as I hate her, she is the love of my life. She was there for me when things went to shit and I thought I was there for the same. I miss her so much, it has killed anything left inside of me. There will never be another person who I care about as much as I did (still do) her...

'Look in your eyes I see a new story
I can't deny my past aint perfect too
Saying, i'm not here to get false answers
But just like you I got true questions too
Yeah

I never want to let you go
In your eyes I can tell that is what we both know
I never wana see you cry oh love so burnt baby let it die
Oh baby baby baby baby

I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I'm sitting here thinking, passing the time
I wanted youto go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I never thought you'd say baby goodbye

Hearing your voice just makes me remember
All those times when we were nothing more than friends
I knew you, you knew me an everything was plain to see
How did I let us get so deep

I never want to let you go
In your eyes I can tell that is what we both know
I never wanna see you cry oh love so burnt baby let it die
Oh baby baby baby baby

I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I'm sitting here thinking, passing the time
I wanted youto go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I never thought you'd say baby goodbye


So I looked in your eyes and I said baby I loved all the time that we spent
Then you replied with a tear in your eye it should come to an end and we'll both be friends
Hugs and tears then we sat for a while that stone cold feeling putting on a smile
Know that your leaving looking to the sky, that one dark evening killing me inside
We'll go away to our next life cos you'll go your way and i'll go mine
And I still see your face though we've both been apart
I know you got your place deep in my heart
Yo I just feel so down
Might come around but it's for the best now
Love broke down and i'm choked inside
From the first time when I said baby goodbye

Baby I tried to understand
Why you had to leave me and why you had to be free
lady I hope you understand
Why I disagree and why we wern't meant to be

I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I'm sitting here thinking, passing the time
I wanted youto go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I never thought you'd say baby goodbye

I wanted you to go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I'm sitting here thinking, passing the time
I wanted youto go your way
I wanted me to go mine
I never thought you'd say baby goodbye'

When morning comes

Ended up down the town tonight and was talking to 4 of the barmaids from the Lighthouse. I found out that the _really_ cute one I like is called Hailey. We had a laugh, was a no pressure, take the piss out of each other thing.

More annoyed at Stacie than I have ever been, fuck her, she ain't worth it.

Need to make some money

Still lonely

I hate Bellamy, more than she could have ever hoped....

' feel the burn
feel the demons come to mix
fill the street with madness - don't
lay your hands and lesions over me
fall instead where midnight dies and
morning comes
feel it here the silence

there's so much life here
and so much pain - we forget
there's so much life
as morning comes
and its real - the silence

see the sun forever falling
let the setback slip through the cracks
keep us safe from ever crawling
let me know a life so sweet

there's so much life here
and so much pain - we forget
there's so much life
as morning comes
and its real - the silence

say you wanted love
and you want it to feel
so real forever - well
remember why you have come
and all the shit that's caving in is gone forever'

Only for so long

She was out tonight, and necking on with every lad she could lay her hands on. Hmmm, real classy bird, slap yourself on the back, give your mum a call. She came up to me a couple of times and asked me not to talk to her again, and I was more than obliged. The she came up and said she 'never liked me anyway'... as if I didn't already know...

Fuck 'em all, there is none worth the trouble, at the end of the day, they are _all_ the same

' How many times has this gone on?
Call 'cause it's just been too long
Say it's good to hear it's going fine
Check that you're still featured in my mind

Tell me what you want to hear
And I'll play along
Tell me when you want me near
And I'll play along
But only for so long

Show me scars where it began
And I will come with violins
I don't need a clock to know it's wasted time
What's your mood ring doing now?

Tell me if you want me near
And I'll play along
Tell me what you love to fear
And I'll play along
But only for so long
Only for so long
Only for so long

Tell me if you want me near
And I'll play along
Tell me what you love to fear
And I'll play along'