Embrace this moment, remember: we are eternal, all this pain is an illusion...

THUD!!!

That is the sound of me dropping all expectations of anything good happening to me...

I've had enough of being the person people expect me to be - i'm a 35 year old alcoholic with no prospects and a barely seeable future... AND I AM HAPPY WITH THAT!!!!!!

Spent half of last night being excluded by two people who call themselves my best mates - FUCK THEM!

sent two messages to one of my 'best mates' asking for some blank dvd's and some inks cos I needed them desperately. No reply until his girlfriend spoke to me tonight and said he was working and didn't have his phone - load of bollocks - FUCK THEM!

Spent 30 minutes talking to my ex, Stacie (the one who is pregnant with somebody elses kid) who wondered why I was being funny with her - FUCK HER!

Spent an hour talking to one of my 'best mates' girlfriends tonight - she walked past me last night and made no attempt to talk to me - she reckons I 'deserve someone really special' - she's the same as the rest - FUCK HER!

Having a bad day...

Just remember the first step in forgetting is destroying all the evidence

Found some photos of Stacey the other day, looked at them, didn't see an attractive person, didn't feel any kind of 'twang'... shredded them!


The weather changed 2 days ago - we have had blistering heat for a few weeks... 2 days ago it started raining really heavy and only stoped last night. Was quite cool...

Not been out lately, still, not been sober. Drinking a lot more than I expected to.

Got my brother in laws car for a fortnight. Hardly used it so far!

Sober :-(

Cleverality....

Should be added to the entire dictionaries worldwide... just 'cos I said so!!!!!

and as a word, it's prettyfull!

Blogger sucks big hairy cock!!!!!!!

Seriously, whenever I try to do anything that involves any kind of formatting or cleverality, blogger fucks me up the ass!

I think it's a conspiracy to get us all to download that cack blogger toolbar shite - FUCK THAT!

You said I hated you, If only that were true...

Cracking game of Hockey tonight. We were playing the Peterborough RinkRats who only iced 7 players... but the best 7 players they could have brought. We won the game 5-4 and as usual, I never scored! I did punch some big dozy Canuck upside the head (don't get me wrong, I love the Canadian people - I just don't like the ones who come over here to play hockey and think they are big shots). This guy had to stand 6ft 8 to my 5ft 7. I was parked on the back post of their goal and he kept punching me in the back of the head... I warned him twice, turned round, jumped up and punched him square on the jaw! I expected a bigger reaction from him than complaining like a girl... but never got it. He shook my hand at the end of the game and apologised - me <3 href="http://www.cleveland-comets.co.uk">CLEVELAND COMETS

Finally had the work done on my flat. now to get it decorated. A couple of very good friends of mine came round tonight, Vanessa and Spud, and they commented how nice my sitting room looks now I have it finished - think it's a kick I need to get the rest finished. The bed in my spare room cum office is going tomorrow, Spud is taking the filing cabinet, i've put in for a decorating allowance from my landlord - want my flat nice, i've lived in a bomb site for too long!

Nothing on the girl front, sometimes I wonder if I am noticeable to the opposite sex as something other than a relationship counciller - yes, good choice.... lets pick the SINGLE ALCOHOLIC to sort our problems out... strange thing is, I can always give good advice... too everyone else!