Saturday night fever

Another night out with the lads tonight, hopefully another one night stand... with somebody different - thats all I want now, fuck relationships up their stupid asses!!!

Went and picked up my PA system, t'is decent, will do for the rock band and for the duo or trio idea I have for me and shorty - gonna need to talk to her about it soon...

4 weeks and counting

Since I have had any contact with 'whatsername' - I still miss her... a lot, but now know that she never gave a crap about me, she can't have to have let it all get so far, she can't have because she has never tried to find out if I was ok earlier in the year... fuck her, if the time we spent together means so little to her, let her get on with it!

Alcohol and medication are not the best mix...

... as I discovered last night. After my little ermm, mistake with my prescribed medication at the beginning of the year, I hadn't took any until last night just before I picked the girls up - the end result was that I remember nothing about what happened. Just went to take some and read the leaflet with them and it says that they are extremely dangerous to mix with alcohol, that, put together with the fact that I haven't had them for so long means that last night was a bit silly... but do I look like I give a shit? And as an added bonus, theyMorphine based, are apparently addictive and cause shitloads of problems with the liver - gonna take them back to the doctor!!

Vicky was asking how I was last night, wish it was more than friendly tho'...

Business as usual...?

Got to go into Inbiz today - still not sure if I want to be running my business, I guess todays talk will force me to make a decision. My heart still isn't really in it, I just want to get my band started...
Names so far are

Until the Dawn
Dead Winters Day
Dee's Last Regret

The last one is 'cos 'whatsernames' middle name is Dee and I just wish that I was her last regret... and her biggest mistake - fuck it hurts so much without her, good job I have vodka and random's!!

Return of the shag....

Well, one of last weeks 'one' night stands came out tonight to deliberatley see me... damn I am good :-)

Still thought about 'whatsername' tho', guess it's my thing... I just wish I didn't miss her so much!

Money is fun...

Been out today to pick up some money I was owed and been on a shopping spree - bought myself a Bass guitar to try and learn - should be easier than lead 'cos it's only really single notes at a time and the neck is wider... will give it a try anyways.

Still the highest bidder on teh PA system on Ebay - hope I get it...

Dream a little dream of me...

Dreamt about 'whatsername' last night - part of me still loves her and would take her back in an instant... the other part hates her from the bottom of my stonecold heart for what she has done and the way she went about it.

Also dreamt of Vicky, she is one of my ex's and the girl who came up to the mental health unit to see me - unfortunately she is seeing someone and is (so she says) happy. Don't get me wrong, i'm happy for her but given the chance, I would like to see her again because there has always been something there between us - christ, I even kissed her when I was with 'whatsername' - ha! how do you like that one 'whatsername'? Just a shame you will never know that fact... or the fact that I used to text Vicky quite often as well - seems you aren't the only one who plays games bitch!!

Rock and Roll rehabilitation part 2

Spent a bit of time talking to a friend of mine and put a couple of bids in on PA equipment for my solo / rock project I am trying to get off the floor - I can sing, I _know_ I can sing and I know that people think I have a good voice... so why let my insecurities and hangups stop me from doing it - fuck it, i'm going for it all guns blazing, with bells on... gonna spend some time songwriting as well, just to see what comes from that!!

ROCK 'N' ROLL!!!!

Drunken ramblings and stuff...

It's been a day of thinking of 'whatsername', and yet, at the same time, I was thinking about (and goddamnwell looking at) other women - I know i'm not the best looking dude in the world, but I do have something that a certain breed of women (usually the young 'uns) find attractive - and all I can say is giddyup :-)

All The Small Things...

Been thinking about 'whatsername' today - and I don't want to be doing that anymore 'cos I bet damn well she doesn't think of me!

Sold my laptop today, the lad was actually buying a tower off me but is giving me another £300 and taking the laptop - got to sell the tower now - should make another £250 on that... more money for alcohol.

Absinthe is evil, I like it :-)

I walk a lonely road...

... the only one that I have ever known...

When I first heard 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day, I knew it would be my anthem - and I was right.

It's painful coming home to an empty house... I have no doubt that one day there will be someone worthwile here waiting for me to get in, it just hurts so much waiting for that day... at least I hope it will come

Fuck the pain away...

Got this lyric running through my head, it's from some film I watched ages ago and is apparently by 'peaches' - is this what I am doing? Do I even care if it is?? I think I am turning into one of those people you see taking anyone home, just for a sense of... I don't know... something!

Another random bites the dust...

Fucked another random tonight. She made the moves in the lighthouse, she initiated the sex... I just went along with it. Apparently she is bi and stars on some porno channel on sky... like I give a shit, like I am gonna see her again!!!