I'm searching hard for a sign from Heaven...

Had a couple of people via email and msn telling me to stop being so insecure about my voice - I can't help the way I am... I have been kicked sooooo many times when I am down that I take it as a given...

Had an email from the 2 guy's wanting to do the rock band thing, it goes...

' Hi Gav

Just a short note to thank you again for coming across to see us yesterday. As blind dates go it wasn't too bad. We both felt quite positive about both our meetings yesterday and we're going to trawl the net and the yellow papers over the weekend to see if we can find a lead guitar and maybe a keyboard.

So we'll keep in touch'

so that looks quite hopeful.

I need to get something going on in my life other than Hockey. I spend 95% of my time sat alone in my apartment, in front of the computer listening to music...

Hockey and Music, thats all I have at the moment...

so please hand me the bottle, I think i'm lonely now..

Met with the guys from the band and their parting words were 'Well, we have a good vibe from you, we will be in touch' - i've been fucked over so many times that I am reading that as a 'dont call us...' Shame as well, they had some good songs picked out!

Not been a good boy when it comes to the hooch, just got nothing going on in my life to make my care about what my 'addiction' could bring to me

Stacie phoned me tonight and hung up straight away. Then she sent me a text asking who it was at the number she had phoned, needless to say, I didn't answer... that girl seriously pisses me off!!!!

Last night at the Charity gig, I kept getting the feeling that Michelle (Elaines daughter) was interested in me... self delusion is apparently my new hobby...

And I still feel you looking over my shoulder

My new creed in life is to not live in the past... or the future... What has happened... HAPPENED! and what is to come...? well, thats just a different story... a story that is waiting to be written, but this time, written the right way!

So I opened a Myspace account... purely for my musical outlet... fucking _shame_ I did the wrong thing and opened a normal one!! My one saviour is that there is a plug in that will let me play my 'music?' on my space... I'm going to meet with a drummer and bass player tomorrow, they like the sound of my voice (good god there is some tone deaf people out there!!) and they are wanting to do 70's and 80's rock... Thin Lizzy, Rainbow etc...

Still playing about with recording on my PC, bought a Yamaha keyboard, THIS is my latest effort, would appreciate any comments... I just need some affirmation that I am not wasting my time and money....