You're So Last Summer

Not a bad night tonight, saw an ex girlfriend of mine, Pauline, and she did everything she could to get near me... but it never happened.

The one spoiler was that as we headed to Chicago Rock, 'whatsername' was stood in the doorway of Coast talking to the doormen (surprise surfuckingprise) - I recognised the shitty conditioned blonde hair and slut body language - I hate her sooooo fucking much!

'I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to
I'll do what I go to, the truth
is you could slit my throat
and with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleedin' on your shirt

And all I (all I)
need to know (need to know)
Is that I'm somethin you'll be missin'
(is that I'm somethin that you'll miss... it's pathetic)
(maybe I should hate you for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far
(maybe I should hate you for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that...

'Cuase I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be the last chance you get to drop my name
'Cuase I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions
This'll be the last chance you get to drop my name

If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar'

I'm lost without you

OK night last night, lots of vodka. Crap practice tonight due to me being full of flu or something. I seem to be ill quite a lot lately... who gives a shit because I certainly don't - then again, there is nobody her to actually care!

Nothing else to say, my life isn't providing enough for me to talk about

' I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you'

Unloved

Spent all day yesterday up the club getting extremely drunk. It was a good laugh and in good company... the same ones who talk behind my back...

I hate this lonely feeling, I hate being alone but what choice do I have in the matter...

' Bet you don't know how it feels
to be walking past your house at night
I bet you don't know how it feels
To stand outside and watch the lights

And I don't know why
I just can't seem to dry
the rain on my face
all the tears I've cried

I think of the day
when you pushed me away
what can I do when I still love you?

What can I do?
Where can I hide -
from all of these feelings I keep inside?
It's dark as can be
and you'll never see
just what it's like to feel..
what it's like to feel unloved

Bet you don't know how it feels
when your life flashes before your eyes
I bet you don't know how it feels
the moment when you realize
that you lost all you had
all that's good - all that's bad
And everyone tells you, you should be glad
Your love for me is gone
I should be moving on
And find someone new - but I still love you

What can I do?
Where can I hide -
from all of these feelings I keep inside?
It's dark as can be
and you'll never see
just what it's like to feel..
what it's like to feel unloved

If I could turn back time
if I could press rewind
go back to the days when you were mine

What can I do?
Where can I hide -
from all of these feelings I keep inside?
It's dark as can be
and you'll never see
just what it's like to feel..
what it's like to feel unloved'

Platinum Blind

Shit night last night. Club was ok, town was ok until Kev decided to start telling me about people talking shit about me behind my back... this I do not want to know, I know it happens and I can turn a blind eye... I don't need him telling me this... especially when the people doing it I have called 'friends' for 10+ years and have known him for 6 months.

Got very little money left now, things are looking quite bad.... not getting any orders in and no call outs :-/

' Sick and tired of being broke,
There's no way out it's such a joke,
Can't get out of the red, on the bread line,
Gonna dive in deep, it's the perfect crime

Like a beggar like a thief,
To get a break's like pulling teeth,
I could try to make it but they're beggin' me to borrow,
Spend, spend, spend like there's no tomorrow

Actin' like you're loaded,
Knowing that you're broke,
When you got a lot of nothing,
it can't go up in smoke'

To die for

Still keep having 'whatsername' moments and I have no idea why, nothing special is triggering them, i've not seen her (thank god)... I don't like this.

' Gotta find my way, through this maze of my desire
Come what may, bitter love or wasted time
You might say, i'm chasing shadows in my mind
But theres a light that guides my way to all i live for
Somebody to die for

I wanna live, and i wanna breathe
Always thought you'd be the one to set me free
But i can forgive, cause u bring me believe in something more
Now i only want to live if i can find
Find somebody to die for, i need more, i want more, gotta need something more'