Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you.

The band, Accidental Angels, is no more. Well, no more with me singing. The bass player and drummer came round last Friday for a 'meeting' and as I could see the way it was progressing, I quit before they could tell me they didn't want me anymore. Their 'argument' was that they have deviated from the musical path that they initially wanted and made it clear that they placed the blame on me. It took me a few days to realise that 3 out of the songs they mentioned were initially suggested by THE TWO OF THEM!! End of the day, fuck them and their short sightedness when it comes to what they are doing, I hope, as I have predicted, they die on their arse due to musical bigotry. The worst of it is that the two guitarists HAD to be in on this yet neither mentioned it, so much for mates. It fucking hurts me that afetr all the effort put in they would want to discard me as they have but fuck them - solo for me it looks like.

When nobody wants you it's easy to fall into (or back into) a self destructive pattern and 2 days before the 'meeting', as I already had an inkling what was going on, i've been drinking again... possibly more than before - it's kind of hard to be certain.

Becoming pretty much a hermit, don't want to leave the house other than to stock up on alcohol, ignore the door and phone...

sucks really...